Dating is a 1 or 5 deal.

It has come to my attention that most singles are shoppers and not investors. People like to shop around for their potential suitor and see if they can find something better rather than investing in the person that they just met. 

I'm sure you are thinking, who me? Yes you! We live in a swipe culture where we subconsciously swipe on people. But what would happen if we stopped and invested in a person? Would you actually like them? I think you would.

It's completely normal to have a bad first date and never want to see them again. However, if the date is remotely decent and you are curious to find out more, you should go on a second. But what happens if there is no spark on the second date? The answer is yes, you should go on another date. Actually, you should go on 5 dates before making a decision to pursue this relationship any further.

5 dates is your investment in that other person to find out if they are a good fit and if you truly have a connection. You aren't exclusive but you are taking your time to get to know them before "swiping". Remember folks, love is a slow burn, and if you've read any of Aesop's fables you'll know that slow and steady wins the race. 

One FFLer told me they had two amazing dates with someone they met at our event. Unfortunately, after the second date, they decided not to go on a third date, each one of them did not reach out to the other...

They explained that they did not feel a spark despite having a great time. It's my opinion that sparks can take time to develop. Some people are extremely sparky, but it fades right away.

The perfect example to illustrate a slow burn is when co-workers begin to date. A lot of people meet their significant other at work but was love at first sight? Definitely not, it developed over time. So why can't your feelings develop over time when you meet someone? 

This FFLer also explained that the reason why they did not pursue a third date was because they felt like they were using the other person since they did not have any romantic feelings. While I appreciate the thoughtful sentiment I don't think that they were using the other person. It's my belief that I would rather know that I met someone and they took the time to get to know me and made an informed decision before choosing to break up or continue the relationship. Even if we didn't work out at least I felt considered and appreciated rather than quickly overlooked. 

If your next excuse is that you are too busy and you don't want to waste your time, well then my suggestion to you is not to date at all. If you are not willing to invest your time in finding the right person, then why are you dating ?

Are you up for the 5 date challenge? Join us at our next event and date the person you match with for 5 dates. 

Jenn