Should Women Initiate the Date ?

Do women have to wait for a man to ask them out?  Some men might feel like it's emasculating if a woman takes charge, similarly some women want to romanticize their first date and to be courted. In this already difficult dating climate, do we need all these rules? Can't we just do whatever we want ? Since I don't have the answer, I ran a survey on Instagram asking followers if women should ask men out and the results were split down the middle with a slightly higher percentage in favour of women asking men out, but to my surprise, the men who participated, unanimously, answered in favour of women making the first move.

In my opinion, women should feel free to state their interest in a man. Once that information becomes known, the ball is their court and they can choose to take the offer or not. As a woman, making it clear that you are interested in someone doesn't mean you have to chase them, you are just telling them what you want. One of the reasons why I encourage women to approach men is because I feel that women have a better sense of people in general, they can pick up on vibes, they have better intuition so if they are interested in someone the chances of it working out are much higher. Men on the other hand are not mind readers; they appreciate transparency and open communication. They want it spelled out for them in big bold letters, this is why I think most men like it when women are direct. I also believe that when women are waiting by the sidelines for the man to make the move it takes longer because of all the mixed messages but when your intentions are clear there is no need to wait around. If he is not making a move he is either not interested or he is keeping you on the side while someone better shows up and no one has time for that. 

Another thing people don't have time for is wasting their own time. I received a complaint from a young woman telling me that she did not have a chance to speak to a guy she was eyeing at one of our events. I understand that our events have a limited number of match ups. We pair people based on compatibility and other factors. However, we always give many opportunities of free time so people can mingle with whomever they want, which is the perfect time for her to have beelined for the guy that she was eyeing. I'm certain that he would not have turned her down. It was a missed opportunity, and please do not make her mistake.

Finally, gathering the guts to actually approach someone can be scary for some but rejection is not life threatening, you'll survive, it's a risk that I would take any day. I had two participants that I wanted to match. I reached out to both of them; she was willing to go on a date with him but he wasn't into her for reasons I could never understand and I will provide more details about this story in another blog post. Long story short, I never ended up introducing them but coincidentally they showed up at the same event and were placed in the same group as they had lots of similarities which gave them a chance to talk. After the event, they both completed the match form: she liked him but he did not like her back. Here is the thing, she knew he had rejected my set up offer, so at this point she has nothing to lose, instead of filling out the match form, put him on the spot and tell him," I think you're hot and we should go out on a date, here is my number". She doesn't need to grab his phone, or write it down on a piece of paper; all she needs to do is Air Drop it (side note, everyone should have their own contact on their phone for easy sharing).  Anyway, as I mentioned earlier she filled out the form, she liked him but he did not like her back.... Let's see what happens if and when they bump into each other again. 

I hope I have given you enough reasons and demonstrated how beneficial making a move can be for your dating life. This new year, I strongly encourage you to be bold and forthcoming, don't waste any time, just state your interest and let the rest unfold, don't be discouraged by negative outcomes, what is meant to be will happen because it is what is right for you. January is a great time to meet someone new, it seems like the new year ignites something in singles.

Wishing everyone a happy holiday and a new year with a new beginning.

Jenn